I’m struggling to come up with a profound topic to write about this week- I’ve started this article a few different times, but I can’t seem to follow my train of thought to something that feels interesting and vulnerable enough to craft an entire essay on.
In a way, this makes me happy. The past few months have been filled with life-altering events that forced me to parse through complex emotions and contemplate the meaning of life far more frequently than my emotional capacity typically allows. I’m finally entering a season where life feels less heavy, and there’s more time to focus on the things that bring me joy: quiet evenings strolling the Hudson with my sister, impromptu trips to get ice cream, sitting in the park reading a novel from the library.
While my ideas feel less insightful, my life is lighter. I laugh more, I dance in the street when I walk down eighth avenue to Salt and Straw after the gym, I go out (and stay out!) later than I ever imagined possible at 28 years old.
Primarily what I feel as of late is a deep sense of gratitude for being allowed to step off the emotional rollercoaster I’ve been riding since January and a desire to simply enjoy this relaxed, transitory phase of life.
There is, as always, an underlying pressure to figure out what’s next. I can feel a call for something more, and while a small part of me wants to spiral trying to figure out what that means, the larger part is content to meander this period of life slowly, soaking up the good moments and trying to learn as much as possible from the experiences I’m having and the people I’m meeting. Good things take time, and we can’t force them, no matter how hard we try.
My days are spent working with people I genuinely enjoy collaborating with, my evenings are spent with friends I love doing any kind of spectacular activity we can dream up (Yankees games, US Open viewings, happy hours, pop-ups, Met ballets, concerts, etc.). My weekends and holidays are spent traveling to new states, or visiting my beloved Hudson Valley, or fully leaving the country. I do what I want, when I want. I write and read and listen to podcasts that expand my view of the world. I post little TikTok videos that provide a creative outlet.
I’m thankful to partake in this period of life, grateful to decide everyday what little actions are going to help me grow. I feel content in a way that, nine months ago, I would’ve thought impossible and I just want to savor every second of it.
When life feels slow, lean into the peace. Let yourself blossom in the empty spaces and let yourself love the people around you. So often I feel guilty for periods of rest, but how will I be ready to meet what’s coming if I can’t slow down every once in a while and step into who I am? I can’t run a sprint every day and expect not to burn out.
I know around the bend there will be more momentous happenings that require me to step up and confront life head on. But for now, I’ll sit by the river quietly, smile at passersby, listen to music that makes me happy and take in all the small joys that life has to offer. Even if it means my essays are a little boring and my ideas less philosophical.
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